Ice Storm Ninja Training
Quoted directly from Tripping Mindset
I took 3 hits around 11:30. I noticed after about a half hour from mixing it with my gum that the sides of my brain had a pressure building up inside of them, coming in equally from both sides. I was making fractals when suddenly the pressure was released. It felt like someone had acupunctured my brain. The pressure built and built, but then was instantaneously released in one beautiful moment.
My mind started imitating the fractal patterns of the program I was using, creating profoundly intricate patterns in the darkness surrounding my computer screen. The images were dark red with yellow and orange flames licking the outer corners of my design. Then, I felt intense pressure building in the middle of my forehead. I saw a third eye suddenly opening, my vision blurred, and then I got light-headed and fairly dizzy. Tonight will be interesting indeed.
I “re-awakened” from that entrancement about 5 minutes later.
Every movement I make seems to be guided. I notice it making a direct and perfect isosceles triangle with my third eye. Everything I do is centered at the top of this “power pyramid”. My body moves more freely, more fluidly. The lower portion of my body feels lighter, yet sharply grounded. The upper portion of my body, shoulders especially, feels as though they’re more sturdy or more stabilized. Oddly enough, it’s all in the formation of triangles. I feel like a diagram straight out of a Wing Chun Gung Fu book. As I go to stand up, I notice I instantly shift all of my weight to the top portion of my foot and arch up my heel. Motion like this is harder, yet somehow worth it. Less sound is generated and my overall speed is increased while crouching. My kicks seems faster, more fluid.
Enough. Back to fractals.
Can’t stand to concentrate on anything. Fractals are annoying me. Too much light.
The computer screen must go off.
Ah, tripping alone in a dark room…. Still typing. Wonder how that’s working for me? Oddly enough I thikn I;m doing fine.
Light.. Darkness is strange indeed. Better perhaps? No, no.. just different.
Words starting to shift on screen. Losing concentration on task. I can feel my own movements, and how they vibrate into the darkness. I can sense it happening. Must fix that, gives away too much.
Pushups are easy. My knife sure does flick out fast. So shiny and silver. I’m growing accustomed to it finally. Ok, back to darkness.
I melted into my bed.
I did think of this though, lsd is affecting me right now as I type. Now I know how to explain it. Its like a higher form of thought, you think, but you don’t think about thinking. You just.. realize. You unconsciously think. Hard to explain, but that’s what it is. Underlying symmetries are everywhere.
The knife is evil. There’s no need to be this way.
Its in the room. But the knife is useless. Useless… Oh, tool’s on. I need to put a playlist on. Make it easier on myself. The desk sure looks strange. Wooden grains are weird… Saw my reflection in the tv and got scared.
Had to piss, and the wall started making loud noises at me. Fuckin walls, cant find a god damn quiet one anymore. Wow, that was a fuckin retarded statement. At least I realize how bad it was. Maybe? Oooh, techno. I like G-force.
Must remember, never fight it. Never think about it. Just go along.
Nothing can save you. No one can save you from it. Only yourself. If only..
Ok, now Im convinced. Time is no longer passing. At all. Clock isn’t moving. Sounds are everywhere.. Cant tell where its from. Fuckin walls. One day I’ll fuckin get them.
Ok, under control. Hallucinations confirmed, reported as system error. Mental note to self: Do this more often. Exercise and stretch mind and body.
Otherwise it’ll go to waste.
I love arguing with my other selves.
Bastards.
Mhmm. Guitar. I am on the same emotional plane as Jimmy Page and Jimi Hendrix. Its an honor gentlemen, it really is. And the morrisons, van and jim.
Hahahah omg, he was named van. THAT SUCKS
Castles made of sand.. Slips….. into the sea
The floor is moving, the screen is moving. Tonights acid revelation: Living in the moment.
Nothing will ever be able to explain what these long nights of no sleep with nothing but me and a guitar actually do. Its fucking incredible.
Symmetry is in everything. Its all so beautiful. Hahah its gooey. I really am a fuckin dog when it comes down to it.
SPOONFULS OF INSANITY.
that’s what im callin this new song/riff thing.
After all this playing with knives, I finally cut myself and bled. Only problem is that its from my guitar, not knife. That’s crazy. That shit doesn’t actually fuckin happen in real life.
Wow, that cant be good for my fingers. No wonder they call it tearing shit up.
I LOVE LIFE.
After that I laid in bed and slowly spiraled off into sleep, listening to Modest Mouse.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
First trip in New Territory
The day started based solely on impulse, as the majority of my decisions seem to made in accordance with. In the last remaining hours of daylight I started by secluding myself in the dorm. Slowly but surely the drug started taking effect. After my roommate and I finished playing with nerf guns, I decided I'd order pizza since he had bought lunch. After eating a shit load of pizza wings, we watched family guy for the next hour. Slowly but surely the trip started to creep up on me. I noticed the visualization program I had for windows become more and more intense. I played with the boohbah zone games for a while, then became very lethargic.
Now, this point should be taken into great consideration. For the past 3 trips my senses have started out stagnated and dull as opposed to the typical highly stimulated and aware state of mind I'm so used to. Anyway, I remembered that when I wander, it seems to fix itself. So, I decided to go outside.
The night couldn't have been more perfect. A dense mist was in the air, and the lights shone through with pale, star-like auras. All the trees around campus seemed so majestic. The water drops from a light rainstorm glistened with a radiant beauty, acting as a prism for the light around. The colors all broke down and refracted off at different angles, angles that I could catch as I walked by.
My two good friends happened to have found me, so I hung out with them for a bit. Then my roommate came out, and we walked back to the dorm. I wasn't ready though. Instead, I wandered off into the night. What I found was an incredibly large tree, probably at least 4 or 5 times my size around the trunk alone. I had walked by it countless times for the past 3 months, never noticing it. So, naturally, I climbed into the tree. This was quite a chore, considering the tree was slippery from rain and had very tiny crevices to hold my weight with. I got up alright, but then realized I wouldnt get any farther with the wetness hindering my progress.
Everything seemed to be going well, so I went back to the dorm to watch a movie. I left around midnight. On the way back, I felt strange. Thinking I could shake it off with a warm shower, I gathered my stuff together and went to the bathroom. This was probably the worst decision of my life to this point.
Something about that shower was horrible. I came to realize in that shower just how fucked up I really am. I realized the list of problems in my life that seem to keep growing. Suddenly everything around me seemed so confusing, not at all like my typical experience. To put it best, the red hot chilli peppers explain the feeling perfectly...
"wakin up dead inside of my head...
will never, ever do there is no med
no medicine to take
ive had a chance to be insane
asylum from the falling rain
ive had the chance to break"
The sole purpose for my using any drug is for healing, both spiritual and emotional. With LSD it's also a challenge though, a challenge of the highest order. I realized that nothing I ever do is going to help me. No drug can cure my "soul sickness". Chaos, just like the tattoo on my right arm. I got the tattoo solely on impulse, or so I thought at the moment.
Little did I realize just how chaotic my life really was to that point, nor did I ever realize how much so it still is. I've never truly faced a lot of issues from my past. I always thought it was better to forget about such things, but now I sadly realize that just isn't possible. Before I even begin to even attempt to heal, I need to face the past. And there is a fuckin shitload of it to sift through. I need to go back to New York one last time. I need to finally fucking confront the soulless whore who made me this way. I need to fucking let go of this sick, twisted hatred for the majority of humanity and my general feelings of distrust towards everyone. Most importantly, I need to fucking forgive myself for all the horrible shit I've done and seen. This is what has been building up, stagnating my senses and polluting my soul. And it needs to stop.
All in all, a very mellow trip. Mild to moderate hallucinations, a new tree of knowledge, and a lesson as always. A lesson I need to take to heart, no matter how disturbing and difficult it seems to be.
-Vicarious
Now, this point should be taken into great consideration. For the past 3 trips my senses have started out stagnated and dull as opposed to the typical highly stimulated and aware state of mind I'm so used to. Anyway, I remembered that when I wander, it seems to fix itself. So, I decided to go outside.
The night couldn't have been more perfect. A dense mist was in the air, and the lights shone through with pale, star-like auras. All the trees around campus seemed so majestic. The water drops from a light rainstorm glistened with a radiant beauty, acting as a prism for the light around. The colors all broke down and refracted off at different angles, angles that I could catch as I walked by.
My two good friends happened to have found me, so I hung out with them for a bit. Then my roommate came out, and we walked back to the dorm. I wasn't ready though. Instead, I wandered off into the night. What I found was an incredibly large tree, probably at least 4 or 5 times my size around the trunk alone. I had walked by it countless times for the past 3 months, never noticing it. So, naturally, I climbed into the tree. This was quite a chore, considering the tree was slippery from rain and had very tiny crevices to hold my weight with. I got up alright, but then realized I wouldnt get any farther with the wetness hindering my progress.
Everything seemed to be going well, so I went back to the dorm to watch a movie. I left around midnight. On the way back, I felt strange. Thinking I could shake it off with a warm shower, I gathered my stuff together and went to the bathroom. This was probably the worst decision of my life to this point.
Something about that shower was horrible. I came to realize in that shower just how fucked up I really am. I realized the list of problems in my life that seem to keep growing. Suddenly everything around me seemed so confusing, not at all like my typical experience. To put it best, the red hot chilli peppers explain the feeling perfectly...
"wakin up dead inside of my head...
will never, ever do there is no med
no medicine to take
ive had a chance to be insane
asylum from the falling rain
ive had the chance to break"
The sole purpose for my using any drug is for healing, both spiritual and emotional. With LSD it's also a challenge though, a challenge of the highest order. I realized that nothing I ever do is going to help me. No drug can cure my "soul sickness". Chaos, just like the tattoo on my right arm. I got the tattoo solely on impulse, or so I thought at the moment.
Little did I realize just how chaotic my life really was to that point, nor did I ever realize how much so it still is. I've never truly faced a lot of issues from my past. I always thought it was better to forget about such things, but now I sadly realize that just isn't possible. Before I even begin to even attempt to heal, I need to face the past. And there is a fuckin shitload of it to sift through. I need to go back to New York one last time. I need to finally fucking confront the soulless whore who made me this way. I need to fucking let go of this sick, twisted hatred for the majority of humanity and my general feelings of distrust towards everyone. Most importantly, I need to fucking forgive myself for all the horrible shit I've done and seen. This is what has been building up, stagnating my senses and polluting my soul. And it needs to stop.
All in all, a very mellow trip. Mild to moderate hallucinations, a new tree of knowledge, and a lesson as always. A lesson I need to take to heart, no matter how disturbing and difficult it seems to be.
-Vicarious
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Explaining LSD for the Skeptics
First and foremost it should be established that I am an actual expert of lysergic acid diethylamide and not just some drug-crazed dropout.. To start with, I have gone into the field of biotechnology with a minor in organic chemistry and philosophy, have researched the chemical properties of LSD, and have done in-depth study of Merck indexes related to carboxyl acids and amides. As if that were not reason enough, I have taken LSD 162 times, with the maximum dose being 20 hits of double dipped blotter tabs (about 4,000 µg).
Next, it should be clearly understood what exactly LSD’s effects are on the human mind. LSD affects a large number of G protein receptors, binding mostly to serotonin receptor subtypes with the exception of the 5-HT3 and 5-HT4 types. Despite most chemical knowledge, it is still largely unknown as to exactly how the drug produces such drastic results in such incredibly small amounts. As a researcher and experienced “tripper”, the effects are very well known to myself. Physically speaking, there is an increase in heart rate (and hence an increase in blood flow), pupil dilation, an increase in blood sugar levels, an overall increase in energy, and an inability to fall asleep. Every government source on drug abuse states explicitly that there are no negative physical side effects to the use of LSD, and no addiction factor.
These are the most common side effects. There have been reports, though fewer in number, of cases of nausea, goose bumps, clenching of the jaw, increases in saliva and mucus production, uterine contractions, and fever. However, these seem to be more relativistic to the situation of individuals or the individuals themselves as opposed to actual physical side effects. In essence, it’s the same as when a prescription drug lists all the bizarre cases of side effects that occurred to a minimal amount of people who took it.
Aside from the physical perspective, which seems very limited, there are almost a seemingly infinite amount of spiritual/mental/emotional effects. These range from time distortion, visual perception distortions, heightened level of senses and awareness, boosts in creative thought, a strong increase in emotion, and a large increase in thought processes.
Next, let us delve into the real facts about tripping. First off, there are such things as “bad trips” just as there are “good trips”. The quality of the trip largely depends on a person’s mental state, willpower, and physical environment/surroundings. People who are tripping are super-sensitive, highly emotional, and have a distorted perception of reality. Yes, it is a fact that the person hallucinates while under the influence. The most common “downfall” of tripping is when people succumb to the point of believing in their distorted reality fully and forget they are hallucinating. The problem lies here, however, in an immense increase in open-minded thought. While tripping, one is so open to new ideas that they can easily embrace the distinct possibility of having a “new world opened to their eyes”. This unfortunately is most likely not the case, and an experienced tripper will remind themselves of this as often and as strongly as possible.
To better explain a trip, it is most closely related to a lucid dream. Things seen when tripping truly can have a deep impact and long-lasting effect on a person. Even if the hallucinations aren’t real, it should be asserted that they can have a very real effect. It is most certainly a life-changing experience that I believe everyone should experience at least once. However, the person must be prepared, educated, and have the mental fortitude to withstand the possible outcome of a “bad trip”.
With that being said, let’s try to delve into the true reasons of governmental legislation. LSD is a drug. All drugs have a strong potential for abuse, whether or not they are addictive. LSD is an incredibly powerful drug that causes distortions of reality and super-sensitivity in the “tripper”. We should also consider who has the highest chance of taking LSD. LSD should be only be taken by responsible, fairly well educated people capable of handling it (much like almost all other drugs). It should also not be taken in amounts too large for the individual nor should it be abused and taken too much. Yet, people who have previously experimented with other drugs are most likely to take LSD. Now, the goal here is not to say that all people who do drugs are stupid, immature, and will eventually abuse them. It is, however, a fair assumption to make for the majority of people.
Now, I am strongly against legislation against any type of drug or substance. This is based largely off Mill’s political theory, so I won’t bore you with re-explaining it. However, the argument that our government legislates LSD as illegal because it is scared of people becoming creative “anti-robots” is not pure garbage. It is also worth noting that the majority of people already realize this, but cannot do anything about it because of the social contract theory and a strong lack of affirmative, organized action.
Since I have spent so long outlining problems, let’s offer some sort of general outline for a solution. People need to be educated. Our society’s lazy form of thought and action only add to the problem. How can we possibly legislate this though? Simply put, we can’t, just as we can’t legislate alcohol being illegal. A lot of people aren’t ready for alcohol either, and alcohol can have just as dramatic of an effect. Society just views alcohol as more acceptable than LSD. People don’t demand the truth simply because they often times don’t want it. Yes, governments are corrupt, deceptive, and generally immoral establishments (if morality can ever truly be established). This is not anything new. Does LSD make people realize this? No. What I believe is a more accurate description is that LSD helps people enlighten themselves , it gives them a whole new concept of knowledge and puts things in their rightful place. It helps people achieve a higher level of clarity. It does not establish creative thought, it helps aid the process. It does not heal spiritual/mental/emotional problems, it helps aid the process. LSD is a drug, and it is not anthropomorphic. The human is the one with the capability, and enlightenment can be accomplished both with and without the use of LSD.
Next, it should be clearly understood what exactly LSD’s effects are on the human mind. LSD affects a large number of G protein receptors, binding mostly to serotonin receptor subtypes with the exception of the 5-HT3 and 5-HT4 types. Despite most chemical knowledge, it is still largely unknown as to exactly how the drug produces such drastic results in such incredibly small amounts. As a researcher and experienced “tripper”, the effects are very well known to myself. Physically speaking, there is an increase in heart rate (and hence an increase in blood flow), pupil dilation, an increase in blood sugar levels, an overall increase in energy, and an inability to fall asleep. Every government source on drug abuse states explicitly that there are no negative physical side effects to the use of LSD, and no addiction factor.
These are the most common side effects. There have been reports, though fewer in number, of cases of nausea, goose bumps, clenching of the jaw, increases in saliva and mucus production, uterine contractions, and fever. However, these seem to be more relativistic to the situation of individuals or the individuals themselves as opposed to actual physical side effects. In essence, it’s the same as when a prescription drug lists all the bizarre cases of side effects that occurred to a minimal amount of people who took it.
Aside from the physical perspective, which seems very limited, there are almost a seemingly infinite amount of spiritual/mental/emotional effects. These range from time distortion, visual perception distortions, heightened level of senses and awareness, boosts in creative thought, a strong increase in emotion, and a large increase in thought processes.
Next, let us delve into the real facts about tripping. First off, there are such things as “bad trips” just as there are “good trips”. The quality of the trip largely depends on a person’s mental state, willpower, and physical environment/surroundings. People who are tripping are super-sensitive, highly emotional, and have a distorted perception of reality. Yes, it is a fact that the person hallucinates while under the influence. The most common “downfall” of tripping is when people succumb to the point of believing in their distorted reality fully and forget they are hallucinating. The problem lies here, however, in an immense increase in open-minded thought. While tripping, one is so open to new ideas that they can easily embrace the distinct possibility of having a “new world opened to their eyes”. This unfortunately is most likely not the case, and an experienced tripper will remind themselves of this as often and as strongly as possible.
To better explain a trip, it is most closely related to a lucid dream. Things seen when tripping truly can have a deep impact and long-lasting effect on a person. Even if the hallucinations aren’t real, it should be asserted that they can have a very real effect. It is most certainly a life-changing experience that I believe everyone should experience at least once. However, the person must be prepared, educated, and have the mental fortitude to withstand the possible outcome of a “bad trip”.
With that being said, let’s try to delve into the true reasons of governmental legislation. LSD is a drug. All drugs have a strong potential for abuse, whether or not they are addictive. LSD is an incredibly powerful drug that causes distortions of reality and super-sensitivity in the “tripper”. We should also consider who has the highest chance of taking LSD. LSD should be only be taken by responsible, fairly well educated people capable of handling it (much like almost all other drugs). It should also not be taken in amounts too large for the individual nor should it be abused and taken too much. Yet, people who have previously experimented with other drugs are most likely to take LSD. Now, the goal here is not to say that all people who do drugs are stupid, immature, and will eventually abuse them. It is, however, a fair assumption to make for the majority of people.
Now, I am strongly against legislation against any type of drug or substance. This is based largely off Mill’s political theory, so I won’t bore you with re-explaining it. However, the argument that our government legislates LSD as illegal because it is scared of people becoming creative “anti-robots” is not pure garbage. It is also worth noting that the majority of people already realize this, but cannot do anything about it because of the social contract theory and a strong lack of affirmative, organized action.
Since I have spent so long outlining problems, let’s offer some sort of general outline for a solution. People need to be educated. Our society’s lazy form of thought and action only add to the problem. How can we possibly legislate this though? Simply put, we can’t, just as we can’t legislate alcohol being illegal. A lot of people aren’t ready for alcohol either, and alcohol can have just as dramatic of an effect. Society just views alcohol as more acceptable than LSD. People don’t demand the truth simply because they often times don’t want it. Yes, governments are corrupt, deceptive, and generally immoral establishments (if morality can ever truly be established). This is not anything new. Does LSD make people realize this? No. What I believe is a more accurate description is that LSD helps people enlighten themselves , it gives them a whole new concept of knowledge and puts things in their rightful place. It helps people achieve a higher level of clarity. It does not establish creative thought, it helps aid the process. It does not heal spiritual/mental/emotional problems, it helps aid the process. LSD is a drug, and it is not anthropomorphic. The human is the one with the capability, and enlightenment can be accomplished both with and without the use of LSD.
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